Throwing out the to do list
Procrastination is something I struggle with daily. It causes me anxiety when I mentally tabulate my to do list. The list is never ending and can seem overwhelming. I used to think that successful people were not fazed by their to do lists. In fact, they seem to thrive on doing as opposed to being. Perhaps, a to do list is a bit more complex, it might be more of a way of life. I have friends who never stop. From dawn to dusk they accomplish tasks. I also have friends who aren't up before dawn are are awake well past dusk. I would include my son and N in that group. I think I fit in the second group. I would be perfectly happy sleeping in and going to bed late. I would love to reduce my to do list, I don't particularly like running around. I am pretty happy going at a very slow pace. Or at least getting my to do list done as quickly as possible. Then I can achieve my ultimate goal, which is to do nothing. I'd rather have no list at all.
That's not realistic when you choose the path I chose. And quite frankly I was driven to accomplish as much as possible. Clearly I wanted to get to the point where I had options. I knew I would run out of steam, my nature is not bent towards achievement. I just don't care enough, I'd rather be reading. Now I have a different perspective. I suspect every one has a different definition of success. It means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I think what I am starting to figure out is that I am not driven by external rewards. Working is a means to an end for me and provides me with no intrinsic satisfaction. I work to live. And my to do list feels like a trap so I procrastinate to avoid doing tasks that bore me.
I think half the battle is acknowledging how you feel. I have a clearer path now, that will allow me to make different decisions. Everything I've done up to this point has led me here and it's exactly where I want to be. Then I will change my to do list or throw it out. There are so many books I need to read and so many places I have to visit. It's all about perspective. You sort of grind along and figure it out.
Procrastination is something I struggle with daily. It causes me anxiety when I mentally tabulate my to do list. The list is never ending and can seem overwhelming. I used to think that successful people were not fazed by their to do lists. In fact, they seem to thrive on doing as opposed to being. Perhaps, a to do list is a bit more complex, it might be more of a way of life. I have friends who never stop. From dawn to dusk they accomplish tasks. I also have friends who aren't up before dawn are are awake well past dusk. I would include my son and N in that group. I think I fit in the second group. I would be perfectly happy sleeping in and going to bed late. I would love to reduce my to do list, I don't particularly like running around. I am pretty happy going at a very slow pace. Or at least getting my to do list done as quickly as possible. Then I can achieve my ultimate goal, which is to do nothing. I'd rather have no list at all.
That's not realistic when you choose the path I chose. And quite frankly I was driven to accomplish as much as possible. Clearly I wanted to get to the point where I had options. I knew I would run out of steam, my nature is not bent towards achievement. I just don't care enough, I'd rather be reading. Now I have a different perspective. I suspect every one has a different definition of success. It means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. I think what I am starting to figure out is that I am not driven by external rewards. Working is a means to an end for me and provides me with no intrinsic satisfaction. I work to live. And my to do list feels like a trap so I procrastinate to avoid doing tasks that bore me.
I think half the battle is acknowledging how you feel. I have a clearer path now, that will allow me to make different decisions. Everything I've done up to this point has led me here and it's exactly where I want to be. Then I will change my to do list or throw it out. There are so many books I need to read and so many places I have to visit. It's all about perspective. You sort of grind along and figure it out.
You are a very interesting individual. I respect your approach to both reading and travel, to experience in general.
ReplyDeleteThank you!! I plan to continue doing both as much as possible.
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