Crazy how a movie can change you in a moment 

A couple nights ago I watched the movie Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot starring Jonah Hill and Joaquin Phoenix.  The movie was inspiring and had an impact on me.  I watch a fair amount of movies and I enjoy them for the most part.  Rarely am I this transformed. The movie is based on the true story of cartoonist John Callahan.  A severe alcoholic, he was in a horrific accident that left him a quadriplegic.  A true tragedy but out of the ashes he rose a phoenix.  He continues to drink but eventually turns to Alcoholics Anonymous and manages to be sponsored by Donnie Green.  Green is a wealthy gay alcoholic who helps Callahan confront his demons.  Hill is unrecognizable having lost weight for the role.  It's also a departure from his regular characters and he is riveting.

What struck me with such intensity is how Green supports Callahan in working thorough the steps of AA.  Callahan is an angry fellow and a horrible drunk.  His lack of self-awareness propels him further and further into unhappiness.  Bit by bit, with the support of Green and his "piglets" (other members of the group) he starts to face the reality of his situation and accept the pain that compels him to drink.  He begins to create comics and starts to get published for his work.  There is one scene in particular that pretty well changed my life.  They are sitting in group, working through their pain and Green says to Callahan something to the effect of; you need to look outside yourself and find something bigger than you.  Clearly he means God.  However, this is more profound then just giving in to a higher power.  I understood that in order to get past your own pain you need to see what other people are going through so you won't feel so alone.  That may mean accepting God but I think it means to look outside of your own mind.  To stop being trapped by your own demons. 

I pondered on the philosophy of Buddhism.  You need to get out of your own mind and accept that your thoughts are like clouds. They are constantly changing and floating away.  Your inner dialogue is transient and we have to fight against being trapped in our own minds.  If we accept that we are part of everything then we can stop letting our egos hold us back from connection with other people.  I am still thinking about this movie and will watch it again.  I love being able to connect to an idea that is bigger than me.  That reminds me that I am insignificant.  That means I am growing.  Director Gus Van Sant changed my life last Tuesday.  What were you doing that night?